While a good joke can get you a few chuckles, one Chuck Norris Fact can roundhouse kick your friends into tears and laughter. Thanks to ChuckNorrisFacts.com and the Android App Funny Jokes, I’ve compiled 25 of my absolute favorite Chuck Norris Facts. Enjoy!
- Chuck Norris’ daughter lost her virginity…he got it back.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t lick his postage stamps. He just looks at them and they wet themselves.
- Once Death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
- The game of chess originally had a piece called the Chuck Norris. It was removed because in one move, it can kill all pawns, knights, brooks, then remove the bishop of his title, dethrone the king and get the queen pregnant.
- Geico saved money by switching to Chuck Norris
- Santa Claus DID exist…until he forgot a present for Chuck Norris
- If Chuck Norris was a woman, he wouldn’t have a period. He would have an exclamation mark.
- When Chuck Norris comes to your house, you are the guest.
- When Chuck Norris is doing a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- When Chuck Norris was diagnosed with cancer, he gave his doctor 6 months to live.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
- Nazi Germany surrendered May 7th 1945, Chuck Norris was born on May 6th 1945…Coincidence? I think not!
- Chuck Norris and Superman once fought. The loser had to wear underwear outside of his pants.
- Chuck Norris does’nt produce seamen, he produces Navy Seals.
- When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. The pool gets Chuck Norris.
- Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn’t dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t cut his grass…he dares it to grow.
- Chuck Norris was once pulled over by the police. He let the officer off with a warning.
- Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.
- Chuck Norris uses a nail gun to check his blood sugar.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is missing.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris knows Victoria’s secret.
- Lightening once struck Chuck Norris…he struck it back!
Do you have any favorite Chuck Norris facts? Let me hear them, I love this stuff.
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I made up the 2nd one. lol. I am glad it is starting to spread, thanks.
Ha, very cool Kelton. I read it in my Funny Jokes App on the Droid. Is that where you submitted it?
Yeah, my older sister put it on there (around Christmas time) after I told it to her. lol.