Today, we salute you… with a collection of Real Men of Genius commercials. For the most part, I avoid watching commercials. However, these commercials are easily my favorites and some of the funniest! Enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2

Mr. Really, Really, Really Bad Dancer

“Your either dancing or you have fleas. As soon as you hit the dance floor, the taunts begin. Is that all you got playa? Unfortunately yes, that’s all you got. Whose in the house? Some guy who can’t dance, that’s who’s in the house.”

Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer

“Defying the natural laws of physics, you manage to squeeze a 46 inch waist into a 30 inch suit. Like ground meat, crammed into a sausage skin, you take to the beach and proudly strut your stuff.”

Mr. Office Party Over Hugger

“Tonight’s your big night to let your hugs linger just a littler too long…you just put the ASS, in Harrassment Suit”

Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer

“This afternoon, you’re a ticking time bomb. Because of you, a simple elevator ride is suddenly a 42 foot plummet into the very bowels of hell. Who did it? Who cares. Sweet mercy, somebody, just please light a match”

Mr. 80 SPF Sun-Block Wearer

“There are 24 hours in a day, you’re wearing 80 hours of protection. If the sun fails to go down, you’ll be ready. Your coconut scented force field blocks out all the suns rays and any stray rays  from another sun, in another galaxy.”

Mr. Cell Phone Holster Wearer

“A six-shooter, NO! A two-handed broad sword, NO! Your hip is permanently strapped with 3 inches of cellular cold steel and you’re not afraid to use it. Through optimal cellular positioning, you answer calls in under a second.”

Mr. Way too Much Cologne Wearer

“Like a bullhorn, you’re cologne announces your arrival, 4 blocks before you get there. Here a splish, there a splash, you don’t stop until every inch of man-hood is covered.”

Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor

“A 12,000 calorie salad. Ground beef, refried beans, gaucomole, cheese, sour cream and if there is any room left, a few shreds of lettuce. Some may ask, is your salad healthy? Of course it is, it’s a salad isn’t it.”

Mr. In the Car Nose Picker

“For you the daily commute isn’t simply a drive to the office. It’s a hands on exploration, deep into your snauze.”

Part 1 | Part 2